An Ode to Android
by Mike Greenberg
Dear old Android powered by 3G:
Oh how you’ve braved all of my hacks on thee.
My compute-on-the-go has changed for the best
And quickly calmed my developer unrest.
The first few weeks with you were grand
Open-source freedom in the palm of my hand.
Despite constant battles with carrier mistrust
My creedo remains “With Android or Bust!”
Many ROMs later and interface tweaks
Had quickly sated our deep inner geeks.
CPU overclocking and Wireless Tether,
Were some of our first experiments together.
How painfully clear, now, your age starts to show,
When I demo my wife on this great app I know!
She’d brave through the worst and could see some potential,
But quickly-glazed eyes screamed “How’s this essential?!”
As time marched on, Android kept saving our ass.
Out of sync with the world was a thing of the past.
Entertainment at hand and no more missed dates,
And remembered anniversaries was like icing on cake!
So I eventually convinced my feature-phone wife
To make a new Android a part of her life.
Now she out-Maps me on her brand new next-gen,
I feel slightly replaced by her impostor friend.
She’s quickly eclipsed my Android know-how.
Now she’s the one to get the first “wow”.
I ALMOST regret ever getting that thing,
But I know the great futures that Android can bring.
My brother came next, barely saved from the worst,
His smartphones kept ending up inside of a hearst.
Working construction, his phones get beat up.
And changing them constantly was more than enough.
Suggesting he try his go with the best,
A one-time setup was enough of a test.
Migrating phones one after the next,
Til Android. Five minutes from first power to text.
And my dad who wanted to accept credit cards
A perfect excuse for my Android bombard.
He was really afraid that the phone’d be too smart.
A few weeks later, well, it’s doubtful they’ll part.
My sister was easy, she just asked me how
After hearing great things, she needed one now.
Then a Google Talk chat request appeared my screen.
She initiated a front-facing-video chat with me.
(Assumed a new Android had just come off the shelf.)
I asked her what phone she got for herself.
The model unknown, but what features she pitched!
My old handset I was ready to ditch.
The sales pitch went on, so I quickly found out,
A new Nexus S was what she’s all about.
Chagrin aside, that I wasn’t family’s first,
I realize my congrats must’ve sounded quite terse.
And so here I beg next to coins, a small sum,
That will buy my next Android when my contract is done.
And while my current handset served me so well,
New ideas on this phone is quite a hard sell.
My rhyme might not be so clever or neat,
I’m just here to tell you, my phone is quite beat.
I sincerely hope my outside-the-box thinking
Will score me some street cred. (Here, picture me winking.)
So hope this thing sells what a great droid-head I am,
And no one else thinks of using this plan.
Cause 140 characters just ain’t enough.
To prove a Nexus S would make my inner geek buff!